Still waiting...

Well, I had my doctor's appointment today, and I'm still only 2 cm. I know that I originally had said that I would like to have the baby on April 28th because that day has a special meaning to me, but just knowing that if I had progressed enough then I could have had the baby today made me really want to just go ahead and get it all over with. All weekend I was cleaning the house and doing laundry trying to get things ready. Even with all of the many activities Jared had planned on Saturday, I made him promise to give me a few hours worth of cleaning. (He did a fantastic job by the way- even though, unfortunately for him, his time was spent cleaning the living room and kitchen- the two rooms that can never stay clean for very long, so he'll probably be doing the same thing this weekend) Last night, I even stayed up really late trying to do several loads of laundry and making sure I had everything packed up.

I'm trying to feel more prepared this time. When Taylor was born, I had a doctor's appointment that day. Then I was planning to get a massage, finish my Christmas shopping, clean the house, etc. thinking that the doctor would tell me that he would have me go into the hospital early the next morning to be induced. Instead, he sent me straight over to L&D, so none of those things ever got done. So, basically, I got it in my head that today was going to be the day so I could make sure that I did what I needed to do. Of course, it's hard to get everything done, but I felt sufficiently prepared, I guess. However, on the way to my appointment this morning, I just had this feeling that it wasn't going to happen.

I told Jared last night that I hoped I either had progressed a whole lot where the doctor would feel like I definitely needed to go ahead and go to the hospital or that I had not progressed at all. I didn't want to be somewhere in the middle where the doctor would give me the option of whether I wanted to go ahead and do it or not. I'm a little indecisive.. haha... and I knew that originally I wanted to have her next week, but at the same time, I like feeling in control, and I really don't want to go into labor at some really awkward time- like during the middle of the night where we'd have to wake Taylor up or while I'm at work or in the middle of church or something like that. However, I know that it's really not up to me. Whether I've dilated a lot or not at all, when it's time- it's time, and I really don't have control over that.

Last week, I was 1-2 cm, so I progressed just a little bit to a full 2 cm. The doctor also said I've dropped. He asked when I wanted to have the baby delivered, so I said next Tuesday, which is the 28th, and he said that might work. He said to go ahead and make an appointment on Monday (and make sure my bags were packed and that I brought them with me which I actually did today). He said he may have me go into the hospital Monday night so that I'll be delivered on Tuesday. I'm not really sure what that means or what he has planned. I don't know if that means they would go ahead and start the Pitocin Monday night or if I would basically just spend the night in the hospital, and they would start it early the next morning. With Taylor, I delivered her only about 5 hours after they got the Pitocin started. Of course, I was already 4-5 cm to start with. Also, since he said to make sure I had my bags with me, I don't know if that means he could go ahead and send me straight over to L&D after my appointment or what.

Anyway, I feel like I'm starting to just ramble now.. haha Can you tell that I'm ready to get this over with?? I like to be able to plan things, so it really drives me crazy to have to just wait from week to week to see what's going to happen. I guess I need to just try to relax this week and get as much rest as I can... because I'm sure after next week that won't be happening for a while :-)