By Thursday evening, my face was on fire. I realized I had never even thought about putting on sunscreen while we were walking around our neighborhood to survey the damage, and I was really sunburnt. I had to go to work on Friday and really didn't want to go. I thought about calling out or at least calling them and saying that I was going to come in and take a shower at work and then just start working a little bit later than scheduled. Unfortunately, one of the things you take on as a medical professional working at a hospital is you have to go to work
no matter what. It doesn't matter what the weather is like. The hospital doesn't close down, and there has to be employees there to keep things running. We also found out that ALL of Madison County was out of power, not just the tornado damaged areas, so the shower excuse wouldn't fly either. Finally, I decided I was safe, my family was safe, and I still had a house to live in, so I really had no excuse not to go to work. I made Jared test out our shower to see if we still had some hot water in the tank. We did! So luckily I was able to shower the night before.
The next morning, I got up and got ready, only I didn't put my make up on. I figured I would wait until I got to work when I could actually see something. Since I hadn't put on my make up, couldn't make myself breakfast, and didn't have anything to pack for lunch, I ended up leaving the house super early. The Publix down the road from us had been open the day before, so I figured the McDonald's would be open, and I would just grab breakfast there.... not the case. It wasn't open. Driving to work was quite emotional. I got to see the destruction to the Piggly Wiggly, Sur-Sav Pharmacy, and surrounding area, but as soon as I passed that and turned on Hwy 53 headed into Huntsville, there were no signs that anything bad had happened... just the power was out and none of the traffic lights were working. It became very real and personal. It didn't just hit in the Huntsville area. It hit
my neighborhood.
I got to work and immediately became annoyed by all of the people complaining about not being able to get gas and about the power being out. It was as if they had no clue what had actually happened, and honestly, with the power being out in all of Madison County (they elected to cut all of the power while they were making repairs to damaged power lines, transformers, etc. so it wouldn't mess up the rest of the grid), they really probably didn't know how bad it was. I didn't really know what other areas had been hit, locally or in the rest of the state. Our charge nurse told us that because so many people were coming up to the hospital to try to get a hot meal we were only allowed to use our badge to get one meal a day. I wanted to cry because I hadn't had breakfast, and I didn't bring my lunch either. (I think they did end up letting us buy more than one meal as long as we were only buying for ourselves).
As our shift started, one of the other nurses noticed my extremely sunburned face and asked what happened. I informed her that my neighborhood had been hit by the tornado, and I spent most of the previous day outside looking around at all the damage. Someone brought in the newspaper for that day, and as we looked through it, there was a full page spread with the picture of the door with "1F" marked on it where the lady in my neighborhood had died. Work actually went okay that day. We weren't too incredibly busy... most of the craziness was handled the night of the tornado and the next day, I'm sure.
Meanwhile, back at home, Jared said he cooked eggs and biscuits for breakfast over the fire pit, and it was the best biscuits he's ever had. Then his brothers came and helped him put tarps and patches over our roof and some of our neighbors'.
For weeks after the tornado, we had police officers patrolling the neighborhood or parked at the entrance into it. So, when I came home from work, I had to show my I.D. to the police officer to get back into the neighborhood. The dusk til dawn curfew was in effect, and it was already starting to get dark. The police officer was from Montgomery, I think. We had police officers come from all over the state to help out. We had been in our house for a little less than a year, so my driver's license still didn't have our new address on it, so I had to explain that to him (I had to do this several times over the next several weeks).
When I got home, the nightly campfire was already going. I walked over to the Forbes'. As we were eating dinner, I could tell Miranda was quiet and something seemed wrong. Turns out, she was stuck babysitting the kids, hers and mine, while all of the guys went out to do all of the work helping in the neighborhood. It's really hard being a mom sometimes because sometimes you just feel limited at what you can do to help others without your kids getting in the way.
On Saturday, we knew that all of Jared's brothers were planning on coming to help around the neighborhood. We were all sitting in the driveway- can't remember if we were cooking breakfast or had just finished- when this long line of cars came driving down our neighborhood. His brothers had rounded up people from all of the Madison wards of our church to come help. It seemed like the line of cars was never going to stop. I started to tear up and all I could think of was the hymn "I Stand All Amazed":
I stand all amazed at the love Jesus offers me,
Confused at the grace that so fully he proffers me.
I am so grateful for the service that was offered by all of those people. Most of them didn't even know us. They just knew that there was a need and they were so willing to help. My sister-in-law, Kim, got out of the car and came up and gave me a big hug. I actually started to cry at that point. Since I worked on Friday and wasn't there when Jared's brothers had come, she was the first family I had gotten to see since the tornado hit. We also had a few people from our ward show up. The majority of the damage from the tornado locally was in our ward boundaries, so there was a lot of work to be done.
On Sunday, Nate & Alisha invited the whole family over to their house. They had a generator going so we ate and did laundry over there. As soon as we arrived, Cari and Misty met us at our car to give us big hugs. Again, tears as we embraced. It was nice to kind of get away from all the madness for a little bit and be able to enjoy the time with family. Also on Sunday, I was finally able to use a friend's phone to look on facebook and check on my friends in Tuscaloosa. Some of the people I knew down there had damage to their homes, but everyone was safe.
I had to work again on Monday, and on Tuesday, I took the girls and went to my mom's house. Her power was back on by that point, and I was obsessed with looking up pictures, videos, info, etc. of the tornadoes. The hardest part about not having power for so long was feeling out of touch with what was going on in the rest of the state and surrounding states and not really knowing the full magnitude of what had happened. Power returned for most of the Huntsville area by Monday. Our power did not come back on until Thursday evening- 9 days without power!! We actually were quite surprised that it was back on that soon with all of the damage that our neighborhood received.
The next Tuesday, I had been feeling anxious all day. It was strange for me because I'm not exactly sure what brought it on. I think I was a litle stressed about some things that I needed to do, but I've felt stress before and never had the anxiety that I was feeling that day. That afternoon, Taylor had dance class. I was sitting with Miranda and our friend Misty while our kids were in class when all of a sudden the power went out. That certainly didn't help my anxiety. There were still a lot of repairs that needed to be made by the power company, and apparently, there were some issues. The power was still off when we left dance. Everyone was mostly worried because we just didn't know how long it would take for power to be restored again. It ended up only being about an hour before the power came back on. I believe it was the next Saturday when we went to a baptism at church. Miranda and I were standing in the hallway at church talking when a kid at the other end of the hallway turned out the light. It was pitch black, and we both had this panicked feeling. It didn't occur to us that someone had just turned out the light; we thought the power had gone off again. These were our first experiences of a little bit of PTSD.
The last seven months have been really difficult. For months, we had to look outside our windows and see all of the damaged homes and watch as one by one they were bulldozed and cleared from the lots. I don't know if we ever got a final count, but there were 30+ houses cleared down to the foundation.
This picture was taken from my backyard looking to the left. This is the house of the Hispanic couple and their two kids that ran into the Forbes house with us right after the tornado hit. Last I heard, they do not plan on coming back.
The view from my backyard. Only the house with the blue tarp on it remains. They were able to save the structure of it and put new siding, windows, roof, and gut the inside.
Out of the 30+ houses, maybe 10 have started rebuilding. Most of the people who had to move out of their houses while repairs were being made have returned. The neighbors right next to the Forbes and the parents that live next door are almost done with their repairs and are hoping to be back before Christmas. On the 6 month anniversary of the tornado, our neighborhood had a potluck dinner at one of the cul-de-sacs at the back of the neighborhood. It was a cold, rainy night, but we wanted to show our support for one another. Our neighborhood still has a long road ahead- not only from the physical damage but the emotional damage as well. I've heard several people say that their kids have had a hard time. Taylor often talks about the tornado. For a long time afterwards, she would pretend their was a tornado while playing with her toys. A few weeks ago, we had a bad storm during the day. She and Bella were in the bathtub, and it started to thunder. She jumped up and said, "Is that a tornado? I want to get out!" (and she loves playing in the bathtub, so if she wants out, you know she's upset).
It's even been hard on me emotionally. Even small storms can make me nervous now. I don't like the look of storm clouds. I often relive the moments of that day as I drive into my neighborhood. I often think back and think I must've been in shock. There are just so many things that I would do differently. I wish that I had done more to help others. Then again, hind sight is 20/20. Hopefully, if a tornado ever hits again, I will be more prepard- not only in what supplies we need to be prepared during and after the storm but also how to respond and act afterwards. I also often contemplate the path of the storm and how despite all of the damage that was done and the lives that were lost, it could've been so much worse. I think about all of my friends at church and how the path of the tornado went in between this neighborhood and that neighborhood and just barely missed another.
Despite the difficulties, I know there is good that can come from this. If you don't learn from your trials and allow them to make you stronger, then you're only letting them bring you down. I am so, so grateful that all of my friends and family are safe. Right after the tornado, I was extremely patient with the girls; things that would normally drive me crazy just didn't matter (it lasted at least a week.. haha). Jared was so sweet to me. We didn't fight about little stuff. We were just there for each other. It really brought us closer together. It's amazing to know that when things really get tough we will have each other to helps us through it. I am also grateful for the Forbes. We joked for a while that it was their fault for making us move across the street from them, but really, going through all of this has been easier knowing that we have amazing friends who will always be there for us.
As I was preparing for a lesson I had to teach last Sunday, I read a talk called "
Come What May and Love It" by Elder Joseph B. Wirthlin. He said, "Learning to endure times of disappointment, suffering, and sorrow is part of our on-the-job training. These experiences, while often difficult to bear at the time, are precisely the kinds of experiences that stretch our understanding, build our character, and increase our compassion for others. Because Jesus Christ suffered greatly, He understands our suffering. He understands our grief. We experience hard things so that we too may have increased compassion and understanding for others." I know this is true. I hope that going through all of this will teach me to have more compassion. When we are not personally affected by something like this, it is easy to say, "Oh that's horrible" and then you move on with your life and don't realize the full affect it has on people and just how long it will take for them to get "back to normal." I hope that as things get "back to normal" for me that I won't forget and will always hold onto that compassion to be able to help others.
I've had so many mixed emotions throughout all of this. Instead of "why me?" it's more like "why not me?" Why did we get off so easy when so many people lost so much? There's the negative- the fear, anxiety, etc, but then there's the positive. I am so grateful to my Heavenly Father for being mindful of me and my family; for protecting us; for those tender mercies that He offered- that Jared was able to get off work early and be home with us when the tornado hit, that my mom had power and was able to call and warn us that the tornado was coming; for the first responders and for the police officers who patrolled our neighborhood for weeks after the tornado; for the love and support that was shown by friends, family, neighbors, church members, and people in the community that didn't even know us; for the strength He has given us and the lessons we have learned. We will never forget April 27, 2011.
*Repairs on our house have pretty much been completed. We still have to repaint on the inside, and we haven't gotten the girls a new swing set yet. Pictures to come of our house after repairs.
